Is Any Man “Entitled” To A Woman?

The obvious answer is no, right? Most everyone agrees, and — like it or not — that includes the ever-loathed Nice Guys™.  You know, the guys who finish last because they just aren’t sexy enough, somehow. So why does this meme about how none of these guys are “entitled” to a woman keep coming up? Well, it’s the standard retort for every time he dares to complain about the situation he finds himself in. He would have nothing to complain about, were it all as simple as everyone else makes it out to be…

Life on his own, per say, is not that tough for the perpetually single guy. Early into permanent singleness, most of them know how to take care of themselves and all of their affairs fairly well. We’ve been force-fed the idea that a woman can do the same job just as well as a man, and whether or not that’s true, it can definitely be said that a man can do the same jobs — the “traditional” domestic tasks — as well as a woman, and in addition to doing a man’s 8-hour job (to the man’s satisfaction anyway). Other tasks that he might not be able to do as well, such as highly involved tasks of child rearing, will never be applicable anyway. He will find many ways to occupy his time, and will likely develop pursuits that are meaningful by any measure. Nor is he relegated to bad health, just because the stats say so, as a little bit of willpower can go a long ways towards maintaining a decent diet and avoiding unhealthy excesses. Most likely, he has family and friends to turn to when needed, and has everything he needs to live a fulfilled life. Oh, if only it were that simple…

The biggest problems he faces in life don’t come from a lack of a woman, but from other people who are not single like he is, and have a problem with how he lives. Sex and intimate relationships, becoming the most important thing in human existence — and glorification thereof that has been embraced by social liberals and conservatives alike — becomes a serious problem for those who aren’t able to engage in it, for whatever reason.  His singleness becomes ever more conspicuous in a world where people are becoming more and more in tune to other people’s sex lives, or lack thereof.  How wonderful it would be, if we could all live and let live, but no, that’s not the world we live in.

No man is entitled to a woman, nor is any woman entitled to a man.  What both of them are entitled to is peace from scrutiny.  They are entitled to live without harassing questions, pressure from selfish parents (and especially aunts), and unfair judgements about their sexuality and their character.  Alas, this is too much to ask in modern western society, it seems.

Single men are routinely accused of having entitlement issues, simply by complaining about anything.  If they complain about women only being interested in swaggering “alpha males”, they will be rebuked with, “You’re not entitled to sex!”  If they complain about a lack of opportunity, they will be rebuked with, “You’re not entitled to sex!”  If they talk with chagrin about having been friendzoned, after a long period of being strung along, they will be slapped with, “You’re not entitled to sex!”  If they happen to simply mention that they are single and lonely, they will hear, “You’re not entitled to sex!”  It’s a cliché.  It is a knee-jerk platitude that is thrown out, without any real consideration given as to how much it actually applies to the guy whom it is being thrown at.

Yet these same people throwing that platitude out at single guys, when finding themselves in an unsatisfying relationship situation, will whine, “I have neeeeeeeeeeds!”  So, consider the source.

Truth be told, men would rarely complain about anything, were they not being harassed for being single.  If complaining is a function of entitlement, then entitlement is a function of obligation.  Harassment for being single implies obligation not to be single.  If a man is not entitled to be free from being criticized, looked down upon, needled or otherwise harassed in any way for being solo, then he is entitled to a woman; if he is not entitled to a woman, then he is entitled not to be criticized, looked down upon, needled or otherwise harassed in any way for being solo.  You cannot tell a man that he is wrong for not having a woman, but not entitled to have one either.  One cannot be in debt if they cannot have debt owed to them as well.  When it comes to sexuality, no one owes anyone anything.  Women don’t owe any aspect of their sexuality to anyone (men), and likewise, men don’t owe any aspect of their sexuality to anyone (parents, aunts, nosy neighbors).

While it is expected of men to “man-up” and take initiative with women, they are only as responsible for doing so as they are responsible for having women in the first place.  They may not be able to complain about not having a woman if they never take initiative — the old rules of interaction are seemingly much more unchangeable than gender roles are, much to the delight of feminists — but as long as they don’t complain, then their mommy and daddy don’t have much of a prerogative to complain to their son about their grand-baby hunger pangs.

Any questions?

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4 comments

  1. As a 56 year old male virgin who fully expects to die in this condition. I make
    no attempt to hide it. Negativity and sour grapes THEMSELVES are a waste.
    Injustice collecting CAN KILL.
    When I was 22, I was just as angry and misreable as Elliot Rodger. I grew out of
    it. The question is: “Do you think that even if an oppertunity for sex presented
    itself, a beast like Rodger would engage in it? Or would the murdering POS find
    fault with his “prospects?”
    Oscar Wilde said there are only two miserible conditions: wanting something
    and getting what you want.

  2. “The biggest problems he faces in life don’t come from a lack of a woman, but from other people who are not single like he is, and have a problem with how he lives.”

    So much truth contained within a single sentence. Parents, teachers, customers, friends, siblings and everyone in between seems to think their judgement of my continued singlehood. Because me, one single person living life on my own terms, is *completely* uncalled for. 

  3. In my humble opinion, I don’t think married folks are qualified to utter one syllable of advice to a single person. When they do, they only put their foot in their mouth. The truth is, we live in a world that worships marriage and family.

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