This was originally posted by Heinous-Uranus on Gamespot.com. The old link is dead, but it’s a classic that is worthy of living on.
Edit: okay, looks like it is still there after all: http://www.gamespot.com/forums/offtopic-discussion-314159273/does-this-feel-familiar-are-you-a-loser-26526504/
Does this feel familiar – are you a loser?
The losers stands on the same line with everyone else.
The loser leans towards a wall in the disco and watches as the most popular guys in the school dance with the girls and exchange their first kisses. He dares not ask any girl to dance, even though he is already interested in them, and even if he did ask, noone would come with him anyway.
The loser realizes the pleasure of masturbation – something that will be his only touch to the world of sex for a veeeeeery long time, though he doesn’t know that yet, as he is still young and most of his peers lack real sexual experience as well.
The loser has still not made any contact with girls, and listens – suffering from feelings of confusion, embarrasment and budding inferiority – as his peers talk about their first sexual experiences with their first loves of some random girls from parties. The loser will hear what sex feels like, but cannot imagine himself in the position of his peers, whose sexual progress has been normal. Even at this age the loser is blissfully ignorant of the coming long years of solitude and psychological problems. He may still think that there’s time, and that everybody gets a girlfriend at some point.
The loser has reached adulthood and many of his peers are already in steady relationships and have a lot of sexual experiences. Even those still single have many experiences in sexual intercourse. The loser may have succesfully made contact with women at this point, and with luck even reached the status of friendboy, but he still hasn’t had his first kiss, not to mention sexual intercourse.
Now the loser has reached the conclusion that he is sexually retarded. He stands in the same group as a 11-year-old, and this starts to seriously embarass and piss him. For his peers, sex has become an obvious part of life, like running water. Sexual intercourse is no longer viewed as something special. The loser still lacks his first kiss and sexual intercourse feels as unprobable as winning the lottery. At this age he is able to fluently speak to women in work related situations.
The loser starts getting more and more depressed and pissed – people ten years younger than him are enjoying a sexual life and relationships. Now he finally fully realizes that he is an abnormal freak, and that those sharing the same fate are few and far between. Other people start viewing him as strange and freak as well.
Having contact with women starts to feel harder and harder as the years pass on, due to the inexperience and the feeling of depression, inferiority and insecurity it causes. Now the loser starts having serious mental problems. His peers are already married and have children, and the loser is light years behind in sexual maturation. The loser is too embarassed to go spend a boy’s night with his friends as he knows what will be the topics there. The loser is in the middle of a negative wheel where inexperience leads to more inexperience and loneliness. The days pass by as the loser thinks what went wrong and why he became what he became.