“The Loser”

This was originally posted by Heinous-Uranus on Gamespot.com.  The old link is dead, but it’s a classic that is worthy of living on.

Edit: okay, looks like it is still there after all: http://www.gamespot.com/forums/offtopic-discussion-314159273/does-this-feel-familiar-are-you-a-loser-26526504/



Does this feel familiar – are you a loser?


Losers age:

10 y/o:

The losers stands on the same line with everyone else.

11-12 y/o:

The loser leans towards a wall in the disco and watches as the most popular guys in the school dance with the girls and exchange their first kisses. He dares not ask any girl to dance, even though he is already interested in them, and even if he did ask, noone would come with him anyway.

13-14 y/o:

The loser realizes the pleasure of masturbation – something that will be his only touch to the world of sex for a veeeeeery long time, though he doesn’t know that yet, as he is still young and most of his peers lack real sexual experience as well.

15-16 y/o:

The loser has still not made any contact with girls, and listens – suffering from feelings of confusion, embarrasment and budding inferiority – as his peers talk about their first sexual experiences with their first loves of some random girls from parties. The loser will hear what sex feels like, but cannot imagine himself in the position of his peers, whose sexual progress has been normal. Even at this age the loser is blissfully ignorant of the coming long years of solitude and psychological problems. He may still think that there’s time, and that everybody gets a girlfriend at some point.

18-19 y/o:

The loser has reached adulthood and many of his peers are already in steady relationships and have a lot of sexual experiences. Even those still single have many experiences in sexual intercourse. The loser may have succesfully made contact with women at this point, and with luck even reached the status of friendboy, but he still hasn’t had his first kiss, not to mention sexual intercourse.

20-22 y/o:

Now the loser has reached the conclusion that he is sexually retarded. He stands in the same group as a 11-year-old, and this starts to seriously embarass and piss him. For his peers, sex has become an obvious part of life, like running water. Sexual intercourse is no longer viewed as something special. The loser still lacks his first kiss and sexual intercourse feels as unprobable as winning the lottery. At this age he is able to fluently speak to women in work related situations.

23-25 y/o:

The loser starts getting more and more depressed and pissed – people ten years younger than him are enjoying a sexual life and relationships. Now he finally fully realizes that he is an abnormal freak, and that those sharing the same fate are few and far between. Other people start viewing him as strange and freak as well.

25-30 y/o:

Having contact with women starts to feel harder and harder as the years pass on, due to the inexperience and the feeling of depression, inferiority and insecurity it causes. Now the loser starts having serious mental problems. His peers are already married and have children, and the loser is light years behind in sexual maturation. The loser is too embarassed to go spend a boy’s night with his friends as he knows what will be the topics there. The loser is in the middle of a negative wheel where inexperience leads to more inexperience and loneliness. The days pass by as the loser thinks what went wrong and why he became what he became.



  1. Most “losers” have “loved and lost.”
    How can one be a “loser,” if they never loved to begin with?

    1. You left out the most important period for the “loser” — the 30’s and later, when the “loser” sees his married peers being frivorced and reduced to poverty by their wives (because they’re ‘bored’ and “unhaaapy”).
      His now-divorced peers are thrown out of their homes, living in slum apartments and driving ten-year-old cars (if they’re lucky), and paying at least half of their income for alimony and “child support” (ha, ha — they’re not allowed to see their children, because their ex-wife lied under oath and falsely accused them of “abuse”). And they’d better NOT lose their jobs or get seriously ill or injured — because not paying alimony or child support is a crime under ANY conditions. “Falling behind” for ANY reason is considered “contempt of court”, punishable by imprisonment — and even when they are imprisoned, the debt for alimony and child support continues to accumulate, with usurious rates of interest!
      When the “loser” ‘gets together’ with his now-divorced, poverty-stricken peers, he will likely hear how incredibly lucky he is that he never married.

      1. But you too forgot one thing: he has no friends to get together with in the first place. Of course, even if he does, the only ones who will have been divorce-raped will be the ones who were too beta to hang onto their wives, and even they would never trade places with that hardcore incel.

  2. This is literally like reading my biography:

    12-Watched as the majority or guys got their first girlfriends. Felt inferior that no one liked me.

    14-As more and more classmates get girlfriends, masturbation is used to cope with the fact that I just don’t fit in.

    16-After four long years, I believe I am finally going to get a girlfriend, one of the last in my grade to do so. However, I am depressed to learn she doesn’t consider me boyfriend material. Even after four years of waiting, I have no idea I haven’t even endured a fraction of the loneliness life has in store for me. All around me, guys are happy with their girlfriends.

    20-Highschool is done. My classmates having lost their virginity years ago are off to college, where they will experience even more sex. I feel like an ant next to them as I have yet to kiss a girl.

    25-Five long years go by. Every last person from highschool has gone to college, got girlfriends, had sex. Some are getting married. College has been a complete and utter failure. I still have not kissed a girl. In fact, I haven’t even held hands with a girl. I don’t have a single girls number in my phone. I become crazy desperate, which only further pushes girls away. Now girls view me as creepy and awkward. Months, even years, go by where I don’t even talk to a single girl, but I think about them every day.

    27-I barely scrape through college, and get my first job. The depression of being a kissless 27 year old delays my graduating by five years. At my job, I will soon realize that it is just going to be a re-experience of college. The few single girls want nothing to do with me. I meet a smart and beautiful single woman who I fall for immediately. I shower her with compliments and gifts. She takes them with barely a thank you and offers nothing in return. I realize I must be a sexual failure.

    30-I start developing mental problems. I become obsessive, delusional, and paranoid. I somehow convince myself that reality is that all these girls are curious about me, and too afraid to show it. That fantasy comes crashing down as I listen to a few of them discuss behind my back how weird I am and that they can’t stand me. My life begins to spiral out of control.

    31-At my current age of 31, I can only imagine what the next 5 years will bring. I wonder how many guys in each age bracket share my fate.

    1. all your life, every human being on earth you ever heard from told you that you cannot be a complete person unless you have eaten a fish taco. and the fish taco costs about $3,000,000,000, so everyone who talks about it is either a trustafarian that was born into easy luxury or has put everything else in their life on hold just to afford this fish taco.

      but what if no one ever told you that you aren’t a complete person without tasting the fish taco? would you even go out of your way to try one? they smell bad and that price is unconscionable to pay and they don’t sound like they taste that good to begin with.

      perhaps the problem isn’t that you “missed out” on the fish taco. maybe the problem is a society that attempts to torture the entire male gender arbitrarily (gynocentrism).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s