Month: February 2016

You Have Two Choices

Once a man reaches a certain age — that age being the subject of debate, but usually considered around 30 — without ever having had sexual relations and/or a romantic relationship with a woman, he has two options: he can either resign himself to, or embrace (depending on his philosphy) the idea that life-long virginity is inevitable, or he can resign himself to losing his virginity to a prostitute.

Some will argue against this, usually because it’s an offense to their own hopeless romantic bias, but what do they have to offer as a third possibility? The only other possibility is to eventually end up with “someone” and get sex in the traditional, unpaid manner. Just one problem: he can’t decide for that to happen on his own. Sex is given, not procured. The only men who get to have sex for free are the ones who had that gift bestowed upon them by women, not the ones who “worked hard for it”. In fact, men who genuinely work hard to get women are the ones who don’t get women — they went to the trouble because they didn’t know what they were doing.

It seems completely unreasonable to expect a hardcore incel, who has reached age 30 or beyond without ever having had a woman acknowledge his masculinity, to entertain the idea of getting sex any other way than by paying for it. Most people with normal sex lives would feel completely insulted if someone suggested that they should hold out hope for something so hopeless. What sense would it make for someone to make a debut into a life of romance at that age anyway?

Resorting to prostitution is not for everyone. Many people have religious or moral objections to it, some have the same kind of hopeless romantic bias as their sexually active counterparts, and many more simply don’t have the nerve or the money to go through with it. All of these are valid reasons — even the hopeless romantic incel is entitled to his convictions, as long as he’s willing to accept the likelihood of dying a virgin. Lacking the guts to go though with it is one that the least amount of people would understand of forgive, but that’s probably because they’ve never walked a mile in those shoes. Engaging in prostitution, even legal and regulated, is not for the faint at heart. It’s a sleazy affair, something that even the most sexually experienced “normals” would have a hard time bringing themselves to going through with. The unfortunate part about that is that incels can be some of the most faint-at-heart people around, yet they are the ones who are going to have to bring themselves to ring that buzzer and walk through that door. There is never going to be a magic moment of confidence, or a groove to get into that is going to make going through with it easy. There are going to be moments of awkwardness and vascillation waiting for him — he won’t just wake up one day and make it happen when those moments are on their day off or something. They only way to make it happen is to realize that he’s going to have to make himself go through with it, step by step, regardless of his inhibitions.

It comes down to this: is it going to be easier than being a virgin when you turn whatever age you’ve dreaded that happening at? 30 is a dreaded age for most, but 40 is the most talked about number when it comes to late life virginity — obviously the movie about it is a major reason, but even intuitively, it’s the final branding iron of stigma. For some, crossing their most dreaded age of virginity may be the point after which it becomes easier to live with, kind of like a point of resignation and no return. For others, it may be the beginning of problems never imagined.

Everyone’s situation is different, and there are as many different perspectives and attitues on the subject as Carter has pills. The only things shared by all late-life virgins is the fact that eventually, each one of them will reach “that” age, whatever it may be — if death doesn’t come first — followed by certain death. They better be willing to accept having to take their v-cards to their graves if they aren’t willing to bite the bullet and pay to lose it. Most people can count on sex happening without having to resort to prostitution when they are younger, like in their teens or 20s; but the late-life virgin over 30 simply cannot have that expecation any more.

No, it’s not fair, and it may not make any sense, but it has happened nonetheless — you have become a late life virgin, and the clock is ticking. Sex with a prostitute might be in your future, or it might not be, but what most certainly will be in your future are hard choices. They simply are not going to go away.

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Women Don’t Make Good Platonic Friends

Well, not for habitually single men, anyway.

What we’re talking about here is not really the “friendzone”, because that’s a realm where you want to be in a relationship with a particular woman, but can’t make it past being mere platonic friends, and probably getting taken advantage of all the while. That itself is a pretty nasty predicament, but even being in a friendship where you genuinely have no desire to see it become more than that carries its own risks.

Habitually single, never-in-relationship “incel” men often make the mistake of thinking that it’s at least “safe” to be friends-only with a woman, sort of like the non-swimmer staying in the shallow end of the pool. Truth be known, it may even be more dangerous than being in a relationship with the woman, because in a relationship, at least there is a sort of respect that comes from the original attachment, and acts as a buffer against the her impulsive wrath. Oh, and don’t expect her to keep the kid gloves on with him, due to his lack of experience. She will pull out all the stops, hitting him with all of mind games and emotional tactics that he’s not ready for, without mercy.

When it comes to emotional games, women can easily out-manouver even the most experience men, and always have been — it’s how they’ve evolved. Men have the upper hand physically and intellectually, women have the upper hand emotionally and tactically. Incel men are especially handicapped when it comes to these sorts of things, and are sitting ducks, even in platonic friendships. Remember, even a female friend is still a female, and they don’t put in a different brain when they are with friend-only males, then swap it out with the typical one when they’re with their main squeeze. Some of the rules are different, but when things ultimately come unglued, all bets are off.

Even when it seems like things are going just fine, you may be on the brink of an explosion, as soon as there is a source of ignition. The incel is not going to be able to see any of the warning signs — better yet, he won’t have the experience to realize that there are no warning signs. He’ll be going along, thinking everything is fine, and before he knows it, he’ll find himself being squished through the ringer without even having had the benefit of being able to plug her. Best-case scenario: he realizes how naive he was, feels like an idiot, and doesn’t make the same mistake twice. Seldom does it go that smooth.

Women are things that require special handling. They require experience and skill. Grown women are not entry-level — you have to know what you are doing.

The best thing for men with little or not experience with women is to keep a respectful distance. Family and working relationships are fine, but avoid getting on a personal level with them, unless you want to get a taste of what you don’t deserve, and pay the price for something they won’t ever give you.