Defining Incel on a Spectrum of Sexual Inactivity

“Incel” is one of those terms that should be pretty much self-defining: involuntary celibacy.  Well, since people don’t want to make it that easy, let’s let logic define it.

I’ve said the same thing about MGTOW, because it has the same problem: people are always trying to hijack the label, over-complicate it and use it form some kind of tribal delineation.

First of all, this is kind of hard to do in the post-modern gender chaos era, where no one can agree on what “sex” is, so per good old fashioned common sense, here’s my definition of sex: penile-vaginal intercourse.  Anal sex, oral sex, sexting, teledildonics…forget it.  I’m keeping the definition narrow, because that’s the only way you can set any standards.  If you don’t agree with that definition, at least for the purpose of this discussion, I don’t care – you’re not my problem.

Now then, I have come up with three categories that I believe you could put just about any sexually inactive person into:

  1. Sexually Incapable – those who truly have no capability or options to have sex, under any circumstances, regardless of their own will.  These include:
    • Invalids, totally incapable of initiating sex, consensual or otherwise, and with whom no one else is initiating sex, consensual or otherwise
    • people with missing genitalia, or non-functional genitalia with a non-treatable underlying cause
      • females with vaginismus
      • males with erectile dysfunction
    • Those who are phobic of sex in a clinical, debilitating and incurable sense (which can lead to genital malfunction listed above)
    • imprisoned or displaced people with no access to sexual partners, consensual or otherwise
    • dead bodies that willing necrophiliacs have no access to
  2. Sexually unwilling – those who refuse to have sex, on account of the act of sex per se, are not subject to any other reason for their celibacy, and have a genuine preference to stay that way.  The reasons may include:
    • Those who hate sex
    • Those who fear sex
    • Those who are disgusted by sex
    • Those who are averse to sex for some other reason not listed here
  3. Everyone else – this is everyone who would have sex, but they don’t because none of their own options for doing so are acceptable.  Examples of unacceptable options include, but are not limited, to:
    • males who don’t want to have sex with unattractive-but-willing females
    • people serving or aspiring to serve in ecclesiastic vocations that require celibacy
    • females who haven’t had sex because they haven’t found a male who meets all of their personal criteria
    • males who are unwilling to commit forcible rape, e.g. blitz rape of a jogger using a weapon
    • people who are strictly too lazy (probably not many of these)
    • males who are not budgeted for legal prostitution, and/or are unwilling to travel for it
    • people who believe that all of their options for having sex would lead to eternal damnation, e.g. sex outside of marriage
    • people who have one or more of the various forms of shame surrounding sex
    • people who are phobic of sex, and could overcome it, but choose not to
    • people who do not want to risk rejection – this includes people for whom the chances of rejection are low, high or unknown
    • people who are holding out for a particular person who is not available for sex, e.g. a male with oneitis (unreciprocated limerance)
    • males who are married to unwilling wives, and either risk consequences for infidelity, or are uninterested in sex with any other females.


So, from that breakdown, who is incel?

People in category #1 are definitely incel, and people in category #2 are not – they are volcel.  People in category #3 are technically incel, and that may bother a lot of people, because some of those reasons seem (or are in fact) really stupid.  What I’ve seen a lot of incels do is deem some other self-identified incel as volcel, because whatever barrier lies between that person and sex would not stop the person doing the judging; but if this were valid, then only those in category #1 would be incel.  I think that when you see incels try to re-categorize other incels in this way, they’re trying to hog the label of incel for themselves, as if they are the only ones who have any room to gripe.  Well I grant you, the griping is going to sound really pathetic to anyone else who doesn’t have or wouldn’t be stopped by that same barrier, or knows a way around the barrier (which is the same as not having it)…  So yes, some barriers are going to be more respected by one’s incel peers than others, but all and all, regardless of how insurmountable or measly that barrier is, it only has to be enough to stop the person, and you technically have an incel – a person who’s celibacy, per se, is not of their own choosing.

I think what confuses people about this the most is the pop-positivity mantra of how all challenges in life can be overcome with willpower, and thus, any and all failure to do so is a choice.  Maybe that has motivated a few people here and there, but it has also caused a lot of misplaced blame, and ironically, resignation to learned helplessness – ironic because that mantra is meant to combat learned helplessness, yet it becomes counter-productive when it reinforces the idea a person has that not only will they never overcome a problem, but that no one else is ever going to understand.

So, what is celibacy?  Obviously, virginity past a certain age is, but what age is that?  And for non-virgins, how long do you have to go without sex to be considered celibate?  How do you draw any hard-and-fast delineations on that?  That’s another discussion for another day.


13 thoughts on “Defining Incel on a Spectrum of Sexual Inactivity

  1. You reach a point in your life man, when you have to take a long hard look at things in the round. As you have so eloquently stated elsewhere in this blog, past a certain age you have two choices.

    It’s not going to get any easier. At the moment I would say that I fall into category (1), because I cannot get it up for the life of me. But with that inability to function, has come a genuine lack of desire. So that kind of puts me in to the second group as well.

    Now, whether this lack of desire is the result of a non functional dick, old age, or simply no longer giving a shit about things I have no control over – I honestly don’t know. One thing I am certain of; our buddy Elliot Rodger was NOT in category one. Because that dipshit could have done the smart thing and PAID.

    At the end of the day, it’s way more complex than the inability to get laid. I think it goes much deeper than that, and fellow ‘Incels’ picking gnat shit out of pepper, does not help at all.

    1. Yep. After a certain point, it doesn’t even matter. Most people who wear the incel badge put it there themselves; if you don’t wear it, it’s unlikely anyone else is going to call you that – especially not noncel rabbits because they don’t want to give an incel any kind of credence. “Incel” is an incel-created term; “virgin loser” is a noncel-created term.

      Elliot Rodger was definitely in category #3, but how much does that matter, when you see how broad the reasons are? Of course, he clearly, CLEARLY had profound mental illness, and that fully accounts for why he didn’t just get a hooker. It’s like a weird justification matrix with him… I’m going to replace the word “because” with this symbol: >

      He murdered > he was a virgin > he didn’t want to go to a hooker > he wanted a real relationship; therefore, he murdered > he wanted a real relationship.

      Okay, that’s simple enough. So why didn’t he just skip past all that shit about being a virgin? He was going to die anyway, so why not bury his dick at least once before they bury the rest of him? He could have eliminated the whole middle part of that equation. Is it because committing mass murder on account of being a virgin sounds better than doing so on account of wanting a relationship?

      Ah, but I’m making a critical mistake here: I am trying to make rational sense out of the reasoning of someone who was clinically insane.

      1. See, this is the fact that is lost amidst all the cries of ‘MISOGYNY’ and ‘LOSER’…The simple fact that Elliot Rodger, was fucked in the head. But of course, the gynocentric MSM is never going to admit that.

        It will not do that, because to do so, would give the whole affair a different dimension. One that is at odds with the narrative that the MSM wants to perpetuate. People could ask me the same question ‘Why didn’t you just use a hooker?’ To which I would answer (1) I finally got some consensual, non paid sex, thereby reliving my frustration by about 80% overnight, and (2) It really is way down on my list of priorities now.

        I am convinced, as you probably are, that IF Elliot Rodger would have told his massive ego to shut the fuck up for a week or so, driven to Nevada and got himself laid, he would not have gone PANT-Y-WACO. But maybe I’m wrong.

        1. Oh no, I’m sure that’s precisely correct. If Elliot Rodger had made a road trip to Nevada, in lieu of driving back and forth to Ehrenberg, Arizona and spending God knows how much money on lottery tickets…seven more people would be alive today – and that’s not even counting the likely offspring of the slain.

          What this comes down to is gynocentricism. As others have pointed out, tradcons and feminists are both gynocentric – they both agree on male disposability and they both defer to the needs, whims and emotions of females. And who woulda thunk it?! They are both adamantly opposed to prostitution.

          Sure, religious tradcons will tell you that their opposition to it is based on how sinful it is, but they tolerate all kinds of other vices, because of practicality and because it doesn’t really offend their sensibilities. Even St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine argued that it’s better to let prostitution happen because you’ll end up with bigger problems without it. Elliot wasn’t even religious – he was an atheist – so do they think he was going to be saved, as long as they could forcefully stop him from sinning with a prostitute? To say the least, murdering a bunch of people and then killing yourself is, I dare say, a wee bit worse than fornicating with a prostitute…but even if he hadn’t, that’s now how it works – if your religious, it’s not your job to stop non-believers from sinning, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else. But I digress…

          The reason why tradcons and feminists hate prostitution is because of gynocentricism; and the reason gynocentricism has a problem with prostitution? Because it’s a turn-off. The idea of unattractive guys having a way to get off that isn’t validated by womynkind is offensive to the tyrannical nature of females. It’s the same reason they want to ban porn and sex dolls/robots. They don’t want any guy getting off without their say-so. Prostitution, sex dolls, porn, even masturbation – just look at how averse their reactions are to the mere mention of guys jacking off – they’re all work-around ways that guys can have an orgasm without having to put up with females’ bullshit, and for that reason, they want it stopped. They certainly have it stopped in California, where Elliot lived, but not in Nevada, and they couldn’t stop him from going there; but what they could and did do is stigmatize it to the point where misguided shame stops men like him from doing what they need to do. Yes, he may have been mentally ill, but the idea that it’s better to murder people than pay for sex is a mental illness that wasn’t his own – it’s a mental illness that comes form gynocentricism.

          We know, as sure as the day is long, that if they continue to stigmatize and criminalize prostitution, you’re going to see more incel attacks, just like Elliot Rodger and Alek Minassian – just like the Titanic with four flooded hull chambers, it is a mathematical certainty, Mr. Ismay. When a late-life virgin, teetering on the brink of insanity, has sex with a legal prostitute…a massive load of shame, anger, envy, paranoia, self-doubt and despair is lifted from his shoulders – a load that was put there by other people. It doesn’t even matter how good the sex is – all that matters is that he now has that certificate of completion he had always coveted, and it finally realizes what it means…or more importantly, what it does NOT mean. It is one of those things that you can tell a virgin, and they may believe it intellectually, but it can’t be fully believed until it is experienced first-hand – again, not because it’s an unimaginable sensation, but because it’s not unimaginable, and doesn’t amount to that much. Sure, it’s a good time…but not to the point where a killing spree is warranted if you don’t get it. If Elliot had only gone to a Nevada brothel…his anger would have been quelled, to the point where the disaster never would have taken place. This is really one of those things that you can blame society for.

          MGTOW and prostitution save lives.
          That’s something femicunts and tradcucks will never want to have to face, but it’s going to remain true nonetheless.

          1. You’ve hit the nail bang on the head. SOCIETY does not WANT men to be able to get their needs for physical intimacy met, without jumping through three hundred and seventy six flaming hoops, and all the time showing deference to wimmin, FIRST.

            That’s what this shit is all about; keeping MEN in their place. I can attest here and now, to actually feeling my anger subside, after I got those first pair of tits out (A very nice lady called Debbie gave me some NSA sex). Now, imagine how Elliot Rodger would have felt.

            As long as you STOP men from ‘Getting Off’, you are courting disaster. Testosterone is a VERY nasty brew; and just like C4, if it is not handled in the right way, it tends to go BANG! Until society understands this, more Incel wigouts will happen.

            And to be fair, Incel men are their own worst fucking enemy. Instead of spending all day in internet forums, they should do the smart thing and PAY. FUCK what society thinks. It is SOCIETY that has created this fucking Incel epidemic. And I am in no position to lecture anyone, because that is what I should have done.

            But no. One of the things that I did wrong was hold out for my oneitis. I should have told her to get the fuck outta my life, and done what I needed to do. This is my fault entirely.

  2. I would recommend if an incel has the physical ability or the resources, that they do research
    on “mystical locations.” I read in a book that Journey To The Center Of The Earth,” was based
    on fact. There are cave systems and various legendary regions that a person might explore
    if they prep well enough. Who hasn’t heard the story of a misfit who takes off into the great
    unknown to escape haters and found Shangraila? Slow, lingering death, or possible Paradise? Which is better?

    1. Oh, I’ve heard more than one story of misfits heading off into the wilderness…to commune with God, or discover some kind of inspiration… Sometimes that doesn’t work out well.

      Around a hundred years ago lived an eccentric artists named Everett Ruess who went on solo expeditions, along the coasts and mountains and deserts, eventually disappearing on one of those treks – but not before he would show up from time to time, back in civilization, emaciated and dehydrated and looking for help. I’m pretty sure that he ended up buzzard food somewhere…is that Shangri-La? I guess we’ll all find out, sooner or later…or not.

      What we do know is there are many, many copycats in this world… To this day, you can find vagabond hippies with their tie-dye, dreadlocks, buds and guitars, wandering and hitchhiking up and down the west coast of America. Every one of them will tell you that they’re living that mythical lifestyle, searching for “inspiration” or whatever, doing it the same way everyone else before them did. Do they come out of it satisfied? Do they find what they’re looking for? And if they don’t, would they ever admit it? Here’s what we know for sure, about the monkey-see-monkey-do mentality: the people who first did something got all the admiration and notoriety in the world for doing it; the people who follow suit, the fans of the originals who want a taste of the glory themselves…well, it’s pretty self-explanatory – they’re trying to be what they admire by doing the same thing, following in the footsteps of the legends, whether those original legends deserve the admiration or not. Everything from young guys who start bands to become rockstars, to the kids who commit suicide after a rockstar does, do all of the young boys who dream of becoming pro athletes…hell, even people who dream of becoming inventors so that their names will end up in the history books… It seems like most “dreams” that people dream are to get a hold of a piece of the glory they’ve seen others get. Seems like the meaning of life for many people is some kind of glory – to be that admired person, with thousands of fans cheering from below a stage, or even just knowing that people are going to read about you and talk about you for generations, and things are going to be named after you. What do you do with that glory, once you have it? Is the idea is that it’s currency, with which you can have untold access to mates? Do you even care, once you’ve got it? Is everyone else content without it?

      This is all your fault, you know – you got me going on this tangent, having talked about that Jim Croce son in the other thread… 🙂

      One thing I can say is that people who try to follow in the footsteps of the legends who came before them are not very creative.

      Like a line from an old Jim Croce song…
      They’ve got no song
      They’ve got no song

      Really, these guys are a lot like wannabe rockstars who have no songs of they’re own – they’re not blazing they’re own trail, they’re not offering anything of their own that’s different, they just saw someone do something and they want to do it too. They may learn how to cover all of their favorite songs of their favorite bands, but it all ends up being a party trick, if they have nothing of their own to bring to the fore.

      Anyway, back to talking about incels heading off into the barrens…

      Here’s an important question, for anyone thinking of leaving society, geographically or by suicide, to “escape the haters”: are you doing it for you, or are you doing it for them? Because if you are going away because you think that the assholes of the world would be better off without you…well here’s a better idea: why not hang around out of spite?

      1. The Country and Western singer Johnny Cash wanted to give up and die, so he went into
        some caverns down south. He went deep underground but he found his way back.
        There was a book called “Into The Wild,” about a boy who left everything to go to the Alaska
        wilderness. He died there. And there’s the story of Christopher Knight, “The Hermit Of The Woods.” He just abruptly ditched his car near the Mane woods with nothing but the clothes on
        his back. He had no human contact for over 20 years. But he stole things from unoccupied cabins. He was a master thief and got caught in the act.
        I saw a news stream on my T.V. that said the government investigated the idea that UFOs
        originated from other dimensions. I’d like to see how they did that. I read a story about a man
        who sailed around the world alone, and said he was almost taken by UFOs. He saw a group of
        them in the sky, and he heard them say: “You want to come with us.” The only thing that broke
        the spell, was when he burnt his hand with a match.

        1. O_o Umm… Well, I don’t know about UFOs and everything…but the reclusive lifestyle doesn’t have a certain appeal to it – the independence of it, albeit the rigors of extreme poverty, is something I could fantasize about.

          Since you seem to like reading stories of expeditions, read about Roald Amundsen’s 1906 journey through the Northwest Passage. I’ve got a draft post about that, which I should probably publish soon… It’s incl-pertinent, in the sense that Amundsen was apparently some type of ‘cel himself when he and his crew of a few good men went on the voyage…and guess what happened! Well, it is a credible rumor that they have descendants in Gjoa Haven in Nunavut, Canada to this day – you figure out the rest. Now I don’t know if any of those are descended from Amundsen himself, but it’s a testament to how sex can find you in the most unthinkable places – even in the uncharted barrens of the Canadian arctic archipelago over a century ago. What does that tell you? It tells you one of two things: a). it’s easier to get sex in lower population areas that higher ones because the advantage of having a larger pool of mates is more than negated by the disadvantage of having a larger pool of competition; or b). everyone got laid but Amundsen, which might be the world’s biggest face-palm, and hopefully the fact that it’s his name in the history books makes up for it.

          1. Who was the fellow that was first to reach the North Pole? He had a black assistant that
            helped carry him to the pole.
            There was a T.V. show many years ago an Public T.V. called “Tony Brown’s Journal.” A guest claimed that he met Eskimo descendents of the white explorer AND the black explorer.
            Imagine black Eskimos!

            1. Are you thinking Robert Peary? I didn’t hear that part about a black assistant carrying him there.. Of course, Peary’s north pole expedition is disputed of course, just like how the French refused to recognize the Budweiser Rocket Car as being the first to break the sound barrier in 1979, because a). it only had three wheels, and b). it didn’t go back the other direction on the same day.

              The first undisputed sighting of the north pole was an expedition led by, again, Roald Amundsen in a zeppelin. He was the first through the Northwest Passage, the first undisputed to the north pole, and the first to the south pole. He was the all-time undisputed king of polar exploration…and he was an incel.

  3. ”Well, I don’t know about UFOs and everything”

    Trust me on this. They exist. They are here. And our Governments know all about them. Even the alien ones.

    1. One almost “got” me when I was on the edge of sleep. I saw one in my mind, and it was pulling me out of my body. I broke the spell. You’ve got to wiggle a body part, like your toe.
      Would it be so bad to be “taken” by one of these things? It would be like going abord the
      Star Ship Enterprise.

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